Tl;dr – The Cove is “Bowling for Columbine” for dolphins. Okay, here we go. Every couple of years, a documentary comes around that is touted as “important” – a word that in the film industry is code for “soul-crushing”. In 2009, that movie was The Cove. To no one’s surprise, it won the Oscar for Continue reading…
Not since Santa With Muscles have I been so excited for a WWE superstar to grace the silver screen. When director Michael W. Watkins (who I’m sure you know from the 6 episodes of Quantum Leap he directed) signed onto this project, he was faced with a tall order: Somehow manage to wrangle the effervescent Continue reading…
Did everyone have a happy equinox? I know I sure did…and if the 50 drained pig carcasses on my back yard altar are any indication, I’m gonna have one bountiful-ass harvest. (Much different from a bountiful ass-harvest. Hyphens are powerful things.) Anyway, enough about the alignment so nice it happens twice…we all know the real Continue reading…
Looking at the movie poster for “Teeth” with its artful use of negative space and understated Sundance Special Jury Prize, you may get the impression that someone “finally got it right”. But don’t be fooled – “Teeth” is just another cookie-cutter, film-by-numbers, money-making juggernaut in the tired and worn “Girls With Teeth In Their Vaginas” Continue reading…
Words cannot accurately describe the way I feel after watching “2012: Doomsday” but it’s something along the lines of lividity and total bafflement. This is Evangelical Christian propaganda, plain and simple. The movies tagline reads, “An ancient prophecy foretold. A scientific discovery revealed” but, in my opinion, should instead read, “In the face of insurmountable Continue reading…
There’s just no two ways about it – Death Warrant is fucking bizarre. Here’s the deal – JCVD is a Canadian cop. He hunts down some crazy dude that I guess killed some people (it’s never really explained) nicknamed The Sandman (also never explained). JCVD shoots him a bunch of times in the chest but Continue reading…
Listen, I know CineMEH can seem pretty dude-centric at times. What with all the talk of boobs and gore and boners and explosions and such, there must be a significant percentage of the fairer sex that feels not particularly catered to, nay, downright excluded…especially in the throes of JCVD Appreciation Week. Well, it should be Continue reading…
So you have 35 million dollars and you want to make a movie based on a video game, huh? Sweet. That’s a really good idea. But with so many video games out there, which one do you choose? Well, if it’s 1994, which it is in this scenario, you’d be a total dumbass not to Continue reading…
Jean-Claude Van Damme can’t be expected to contain his awesome martial arts talents to just one character at a time, that’s why he’s played duel roles in not one, but two movies. In 1991, JCVD broke cinematic boundaries in “Double Impact,” playing both Alex and Chad Wagner, two brothers who were separated at birth, but Continue reading…
James Franco, I want to like you, I don’t know why, but I do. You were alright as Daniel Desario on “Freaks and Geeks.” You were no Bill Haverchuck, but you held your own. I couldn’t of cared less for your role in “Spiderman,” but you really pulled your shit together and knocked one out Continue reading…
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