The Cove

 Posted by at 3:36 am  3 Responses »
Jan 092011
 
The Cove

Tl;dr – The Cove is “Bowling for Columbine” for dolphins. Okay, here we go. Every couple of years, a documentary comes around that is touted as “important” – a word that in the film industry is code for “soul-crushing”. In 2009, that movie was The Cove. To no one’s surprise, it won the Oscar for Continue reading…

Knucklehead

 Posted by at 5:39 am  1 Response »
Jan 072011
 
Knucklehead

Not since Santa With Muscles have I been so excited for a WWE superstar to grace the silver screen. When director Michael W. Watkins (who I’m sure you know from the 6 episodes of Quantum Leap he directed) signed onto this project, he was faced with a tall order: Somehow manage to wrangle the effervescent Continue reading…

Outsourced

 Posted by at 7:06 am  Comments Off on Outsourced
Sep 242010
 
Outsourced

Did everyone have a happy equinox? I know I sure did…and if the 50 drained pig carcasses on my back yard altar are any indication, I’m gonna have one bountiful-ass harvest. (Much different from a bountiful ass-harvest. Hyphens are powerful things.) Anyway, enough about the alignment so nice it happens twice…we all know the real Continue reading…

Teeth

 Posted by at 1:21 am  2 Responses »
Jun 282010
 
Teeth

Looking at the movie poster for “Teeth” with its artful use of negative space and understated Sundance Special Jury Prize, you may get the impression that someone “finally got it right”. But don’t be fooled – “Teeth” is just another cookie-cutter, film-by-numbers, money-making juggernaut in the tired and worn “Girls With Teeth In Their Vaginas” Continue reading…

2012: Doomsday

 Posted by at 8:47 pm  9 Responses »
May 062010
 
2012: Doomsday

Words cannot accurately describe the way I feel after watching “2012: Doomsday” but it’s something along the lines of lividity and total bafflement. This is Evangelical Christian propaganda, plain and simple. The movies tagline reads, “An ancient prophecy foretold. A scientific discovery revealed” but, in my opinion, should instead read, “In the face of insurmountable Continue reading…

Death Warrant

 Posted by at 3:19 am  2 Responses »
Apr 232010
 
Death Warrant

There’s just no two ways about it – Death Warrant is fucking bizarre. Here’s the deal – JCVD is a Canadian cop. He hunts down some crazy dude that I guess killed some people (it’s never really explained) nicknamed The Sandman (also never explained). JCVD shoots him a bunch of times in the chest but Continue reading…

Double Impact

 Posted by at 11:02 pm  Comments Off on Double Impact
Apr 222010
 
Double Impact

Listen, I know CineMEH can seem pretty dude-centric at times. What with all the talk of boobs and gore and boners and explosions and such, there must be a significant percentage of the fairer sex that feels not particularly catered to, nay, downright excluded…especially in the throes of JCVD Appreciation Week. Well, it should be Continue reading…

Replicant

 Posted by at 8:46 pm  Comments Off on Replicant
Apr 192010
 
Replicant

Jean-Claude Van Damme can’t be expected to contain his awesome martial arts talents to just one character at a time, that’s why he’s played duel roles in not one, but two movies. In 1991, JCVD broke cinematic boundaries in “Double Impact,” playing both Alex and Chad Wagner, two brothers who were separated at birth, but Continue reading…

Good Time Max

 Posted by at 3:52 pm  Comments Off on Good Time Max
Apr 102010
 
Good Time Max

James Franco, I want to like you, I don’t know why, but I do. You were alright as Daniel Desario on “Freaks and Geeks.” You were no Bill Haverchuck, but you held your own. I couldn’t of cared less for your role in “Spiderman,” but you really pulled your shit together and knocked one out Continue reading…