Boy Eats Girl

 Posted by at 2:32 am
Jan 272010

boy eats girlSimply looking at the cover of Boy Eats Girl is bound to raise a few questions. For example: “Is this movie a Shaun of the Dead ripoff?” The answer to that is “No”. Then you may ask “Is this movie anything like Shaun of the Dead?” The answer to that is also “No, aside from the fact that there are zombies in it”. Then you’ll probably ask “Does this movie have any of the people from Shaun of the Dead in it? Does it have any of the wit and charm of Shaun of the Dead? Have you ever seen Shaun of the Dead? Isn’t Shaun of the Dead a totally great movie?” The answers to those questions are “I don’t think so”, “No, it doesn’t”, “Yes”, and “Yeah, it really is”. Once all the Shaun of the Dead questions are out of your system, you’ll begin to ask yourself the really important questions:

Does this movie have a completely awesome scene involving a thresher and bunch of zombies getting chopped the fuck up?

Yes. It rules.

Was this movie made in association with the Irish Film Board?

As a matter of fact it was.

Do you almost see boobs a couple of times?


Is there an actor in this movie named “Tadgh”?

Nope. His name is Tadhg.

Does an old lady ever crash a moped then get eaten by zombies?

Just once.

Are all the high school kids played by 30 year old actors/actresses?

Yup. One of them kinda looks like a bloated Todd Stashwick.

So is this movie as awesome as I think it’s gonna be?

Probably not.

Oh. Should I watch it anyway?

I dunno. Sure.

So, if after all that you decide you do want to watch Boy Eats Girl, may I suggest not clicking the “spoiler alert” link? As the name would suggest, it contains spoilers. If you decided this movie can suck it and you’d rather just go watch Shaun of the Dead, read this bad boy to the bitter end. Or don’t. See if I care. Fuck you. Dick.


When a very handsome but unpopular high school boy thinks he sees a girl he likes giving head to some dude, he decides to kill himself. He wusses out at the last second but then his hot mom accidentally kills him anyway. Fortunately, the hot mom works in some mysterious underground catacombs so she steals a book of voodoo rituals to bring her son back to life. Unfortunately, there was a page missing from the book so instead of coming back to life, he turns into a zombie.

The zombie dude goes to the prom and bites some asshole’s face – turning him into a zombie as well. The asshole zombie bites a bunch more people (including a guy named Craig) and pretty quick, everyone in town is a crazy-ass zombie.

Spoiler Alert! Click here to ruin the movie for yourself ▼

And that’s that.

Not good enough to really remember, but not bad enough to get pissed about, I give this movie 2 out of 5 misinterpreted blowjobs.