Cashback tells the story of Ben, a heartbroken, young employee of Sainsbury’s Supermarket. When Ben is not busy doing whatever he’s supposed to be doing, he freezes time in order to undress unsuspecting female shoppers. If you think this is the perfect excuse to put a gratuitous amount of boobs in a movie, then you are correct. But guess what else? Vagina! Tons of full-frontal nudity. What could possibly go wrong? You’d be surprised.

The movie begins with a slow-motion shot of a very angry young lady screaming (what one assumes are) expletives. In place of the young ladies screams is a narrative by our protagonist, Ben. The narrative starts with this opening scene, and it doesn’t stop for nearly two hours! Every single detail of this movie is explained (in further detail) by Ben. Call me crazy, but save that shit for the book. Sure, there is a time and place, but the great thing about film is that it is able to convey all of the unspoken aspects of a film in such a way that a narrative is unnecessary.

Aside from the over the top narration, Ben is just plain boring. I couldn’t care less about this dude. In an apparent attempt to distract us from this point, the writer/director, Sean Ellis, peppers the entire film with outrageous comedic moments. I didn’t find myself laughing once. Every joke in this movie is absolutely contrived. It’s as though Ellis is so pretentious that he cannot allow himself to recognize true humor, and that’s too bad considering the movie is billed as a romantic comedy.

All in all, Cashback is too hip for its own good. If you are in the market for a romantic comedy, check out Out to Sea instead. Seriously, nobody can deny the Walter Matthau/Jack Lemmon power duo. If you are desperate to see a bunch of boobies and a decent amount of trim to boot, watch the first 20 minutes of Cashback. But I imagine you would have a better time finding the same thing anywhere online.

I give this movie: 1 kick to the gonads (out of a possible 1 kick to the gonads)

Synopsis:

Ben, a heartbroken young artist works at a shitty supermarket, complete with a atypical asshole boss, goofy co-workers, and a not so mildly attractive young cashier. While working, Ben often stops time in order to undress ridiculously hot and unsuspecting female shoppers so that he can “sketch” them. Ben is totally bummed about his recent break-up, and spends most of the movie talking about how and why he is in love with the female form. This explanation legitimizes his nasty habit of all but raping ridiculously hot and unsuspecting female shoppers. In a shocking turn of events, Ben falls in love with the mildly attractive young cashier. During all of this, nothing funny happens. The end.

A Second Opinion

I got a joke for you. Okay…what do you get when you mix the narration of “Fight Club”, the tone and abstruseness of “Donnie Darko”, and the character archetypes of Justin Long vehicle “Waiting”? Give up? A six hour long pretentious piece of garbage that plays out like a jumbled mess of watered down bits of much better movies. HA.

But seriously folks, despite all that, Cashback managed to score an extra point with me for having the chutzpah to place not one, but two naked old man farts in between chunks of self-indulgent voiceover within the first five minutes. Kudos, Cashback. Kudos.

-Trent